Acquaintance Book

What the fuck is happening on this book with a face
Old acquaintances are adding me as their friend
And I know their intentions are laced
With building their ‘friends’ count
Look at me! I’m the shit!
I had four friends yesterday
And here comes the fifth
Six, then seven
Before you know it, I’ll have twenty
I checked Suzie’s profile
And she doesn’t have that many
I’m gonna add my ex-boyfriend
He’s a real fuck-up – no doubt
But if I can get from 39 to 40
It’ll give me some clout
I click ‘add as a friend’ without thinking of the repercussions
I just write a little message
Asking him ‘bout his cousin
Poor girl was diagnosed with some disease
About 5 years ago
But I don’t give a flying fuck
‘Cause my friends’ count is a low
People from my past creep out of every crevice
I know what they want and need
This book’s made me clever
They’re all here for one thing
And I can relate
‘Cause I’m poking some people
I’d rather drop off at hell’s gate
So I add a few apps
Check out my super wall
Reply to a few issues
When I don’t give a fuck at all
This book’s got me totally under its spell
Have you seen my workload lately?
I’m drowning and the whole world can tell
95% of my day is spent on this shit
And I cannot see the end in sight
No! I cannot quit!
I’m looking up people
Who fucked me over in the past
I just want a higher number
To show my peeps I’ve got class
The whole thing’s a farce
I’ve now got friends I don’t really need
And we’re all playing this make-believe game
Like we’re high on strong weed
Everyone’s friendly and shit
Peeps appear to give a shit
So they poke you once a week
To make you believe that you’re worth
But real friends will have your back
When your car’s dead on the M5
Tell me how many of your Facebook friends
Will come and check if you’re still alive
They need to split it into friends, acquaintances and fuckers
Then maybe people won’t be adding friends into empty friendship buckets…

Copyright © 2007 Hilton Mashonga